Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Verdict: uncircumcised.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize