Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
