Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Randomize
