dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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