I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
