he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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