I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
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