idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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