dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
