We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
