we're blogging at a bar
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
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