Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
