So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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