I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
