i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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