mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
