sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
