We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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