I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
We are all done wearing pants today
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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