We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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