Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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