Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize