My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
