I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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