Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
