Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
