my vag is so smooth its legendary
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
