Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm both gender and math confused
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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