so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
