Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
