Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
