Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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