For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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