so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
