i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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