he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
