i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Randomize
