Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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