just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize