Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
