I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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