Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
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Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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