we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
