sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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