I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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