How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
