If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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