Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
