i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
