Non-Jews are for practice
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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