so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
