So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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