i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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