I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Someone shit on the floor
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
