Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
