I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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